Friday, July 29
Thursday, July 28
is it too much to ask?
"There are some people who meet that somebody that they can never stop loving, no matter how hard they try.
I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me; there are some love that don't go away.
And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity.
Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever."
- Ally McBeal
I wouldn't expect you to understand that, or even believe it, but trust me; there are some love that don't go away.
And maybe that makes them crazy, but we should all be lucky to end up with that somebody who has a little of that insanity.
Somebody who never lets go. Somebody who cherishes you forever."
- Ally McBeal
Wednesday, July 27
Monday, July 25
three
snagged this from Andie:
Three names you go by:
1. Paula
2. Pau
3.Ate Pau? Hehe. I have two younger siblings. PauSau. Gahd, how can I forget my monicker in Tugon?
Three screen names you have had:
1. catatonic/catatonia
2. mimingkuting
3. catt07
Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. My long legs (they used to be flawless. Hehe.)
2. My acne-less face
3. My “youthful” look (people think I’m in still high school.)
Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
(only three? I could name a dozen!)
1. My jelly belly
2. My fly-away hair
3. The dark circles around my eyes.
Three parts of your heritage:
Filipino, Spanish or Portuguese, and Aeta (My mother is from Zambales and some of my father’s relatives are as dark as coals. No kidding.)
Three things that scare you:
1. Cockroaches, flying or otherwise.
2. Being a spinster. *gasp!*
3. Being a bum for the rest of my life.
Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Water.
2. Cuddling my pets.
3. Food? Haha.
Three of your favorite musical artists:
No particular artist. Pwede album na lang?
1. The Matrix OST
2. Cruel Intentions OST
3. The Craft OST
Three of your favorite songs:
1. Old mcdonald had a farm
2. The alphabet song
3. I love you song (from barney)
I have a two-year-old brother. Go figure
Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Sincere apologies. The guy (or girl, whichever the case) has to say sorry not just to get me back.
2. Laughter. Lots of laughter. The guy (or girl) has to be funny.
3. Surprises once in a while. Good surprises, ha? Not the “I’m-falling-for-somebody-else” or “I-don’t-love-you-anymore” surprise. Grr.
Three lies and truths in no particular order:
LIES:
1. I'm manhid.
2. I’m slow/clueless. (you just don’t give enough clues)
3. I’m easy to get and a playgirl (Wish ko lang!).
TRUTH:
1. I'm very naïve, impressionable. (same here, Andie!)
2. I have good taste in men. I just have the worst luck in them.
3. I do love my family, I just don't show them often.
Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. I like ‘em clean. Clean-smelling, clean face, clean cut, clean everything.
2. I like ‘em taller and darker than I am.
3. I don’t know. I really go for humor. I had crushes on Michael V and Pekto, remember?
Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. writing
3. reading and writing. :-P
Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. Heed nature’s call.
2. Watch the movies saved in my pc.
3. Eat breakfast.
Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. Investigative journalist, a la Jessica Soho.
2. Writer (of books, plays, screenplays, etc) or a columnist.
3. in an NGO advocating human rights/civil rights
Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Boracay. Heehee.
2. Batanes
3. France
Three kid's names you like:
1. Nadezda (wife yata ni Lenin)
2. Clarissa (no, Andie. I will not greet her every morning with “Well, hello, Clarisse.”)
3. Katherine (from Taming of the Shrew)
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Visit all the provinces in the Philippines
2. Apologize to all the people I’ve hurt intentionally.
3. Tell somebody I’ve loved him for the longest time but was too stupid to realize it then.
Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I have a faint moustache on my upper lip. (Oh, the pain of waxing and threading!)
2. I had a girlfriend.
3. My room is usually a mess...
Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. …but I do clean it up once in a while
2. I had a boyfriend.
3. I take forever while using the bathroom and dressing up.
Three celeb crushes:
1. Cindy Kurleto
2. Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili of San Antonio Spurs (It’s a tie, and I’m not sure if they count as celebrities.)
3. Johnny Depp
Three mutant powers:
1. To turn back time.
2. Telekinesis.
3. To be super strong and super fast.
Three types of food you often crave for:
1. Chocolate. The bitter the better. :-P
2. Chicken.
3. Pizza.
Three names you go by:
1. Paula
2. Pau
3.
Three screen names you have had:
1. catatonic/catatonia
2. mimingkuting
3. catt07
Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. My long legs (they used to be flawless. Hehe.)
2. My acne-less face
3. My “youthful” look (people think I’m in still high school.)
Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
(only three? I could name a dozen!)
1. My jelly belly
2. My fly-away hair
3. The dark circles around my eyes.
Three parts of your heritage:
Filipino, Spanish or Portuguese, and Aeta (My mother is from Zambales and some of my father’s relatives are as dark as coals. No kidding.)
Three things that scare you:
1. Cockroaches, flying or otherwise.
2. Being a spinster. *gasp!*
3. Being a bum for the rest of my life.
Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Water.
2. Cuddling my pets.
3. Food? Haha.
Three of your favorite musical artists:
No particular artist. Pwede album na lang?
1. The Matrix OST
2. Cruel Intentions OST
3. The Craft OST
Three of your favorite songs:
1. Old mcdonald had a farm
2. The alphabet song
3. I love you song (from barney)
I have a two-year-old brother. Go figure
Three things you want in a relationship:
1. Sincere apologies. The guy (or girl, whichever the case) has to say sorry not just to get me back.
2. Laughter. Lots of laughter. The guy (or girl) has to be funny.
3. Surprises once in a while. Good surprises, ha? Not the “I’m-falling-for-somebody-else” or “I-don’t-love-you-anymore” surprise. Grr.
Three lies and truths in no particular order:
LIES:
1. I'm manhid.
2. I’m slow/clueless. (you just don’t give enough clues)
3. I’m easy to get and a playgirl (Wish ko lang!).
TRUTH:
1. I'm very naïve, impressionable. (same here, Andie!)
2. I have good taste in men. I just have the worst luck in them.
3. I do love my family, I just don't show them often.
Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. I like ‘em clean. Clean-smelling, clean face, clean cut, clean everything.
2. I like ‘em taller and darker than I am.
3. I don’t know. I really go for humor. I had crushes on Michael V and Pekto, remember?
Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. writing
3. reading and writing. :-P
Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. Heed nature’s call.
2. Watch the movies saved in my pc.
3. Eat breakfast.
Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. Investigative journalist, a la Jessica Soho.
2. Writer (of books, plays, screenplays, etc) or a columnist.
3. in an NGO advocating human rights/civil rights
Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Boracay. Heehee.
2. Batanes
3. France
Three kid's names you like:
1. Nadezda (wife yata ni Lenin)
2. Clarissa (no, Andie. I will not greet her every morning with “Well, hello, Clarisse.”)
3. Katherine (from Taming of the Shrew)
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Visit all the provinces in the Philippines
2. Apologize to all the people I’ve hurt intentionally.
3. Tell somebody I’ve loved him for the longest time but was too stupid to realize it then.
Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I have a faint moustache on my upper lip. (Oh, the pain of waxing and threading!)
2. I had a girlfriend.
3. My room is usually a mess...
Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. …but I do clean it up once in a while
2. I had a boyfriend.
3. I take forever while using the bathroom and dressing up.
Three celeb crushes:
1. Cindy Kurleto
2. Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili of San Antonio Spurs (It’s a tie, and I’m not sure if they count as celebrities.)
3. Johnny Depp
Three mutant powers:
1. To turn back time.
2. Telekinesis.
3. To be super strong and super fast.
Three types of food you often crave for:
1. Chocolate. The bitter the better. :-P
2. Chicken.
3. Pizza.
Sunday, July 17
Aaargh! Nakakainis kayo! Why are you doing this to me? Just when I’ve been readying myself to get over you, you would text me out of the blue. Palagi na lang! Gahd, I hate you and your forwarded messages!
Ayoko, ayoko, ayokong pumapel sa mga relasyon. Just like Sidney Bristow in Alias, I refuse to be the other woman. Kontrabida, yes, but being the third party is not included in my job description. I’ve been cheated on before, and I know how agonizing and unbearable the pain is. Even if I like, heck, love you that much, I still have respect for your girlfriends. I’m not going let them go through the hell that is The Cheating Beau. *sigh*
Ayoko, ayoko, ayokong pumapel sa mga relasyon. Just like Sidney Bristow in Alias, I refuse to be the other woman. Kontrabida, yes, but being the third party is not included in my job description. I’ve been cheated on before, and I know how agonizing and unbearable the pain is. Even if I like, heck, love you that much, I still have respect for your girlfriends. I’m not going let them go through the hell that is The Cheating Beau. *sigh*
Thursday, July 14
help me find my books
Guys, help please. I’m missing some books, and I’m pretty sure they aren’t misplaced but lent to people. So if you have a book bearing my name, please inform me ASAP so I wouldn't bother other people anymore. I hope we could think of a way for you to return my book. Here are some of the titles:
Youngblood 1
Bata, Bata, Paano Ka Ginawa by Lualhati Bautista
If Tomorrow Comes by Sidney Sheldon
Love Story by Eric Segal
*update* A Twist in the Tale by Jeffrey Archer
*update* The Kitchen God's Wife by Amy Tan
I hope you could help me. Thanks!
Youngblood 1
Bata, Bata, Paano Ka Ginawa by Lualhati Bautista
If Tomorrow Comes by Sidney Sheldon
Love Story by Eric Segal
*update* A Twist in the Tale by Jeffrey Archer
*update* The Kitchen God's Wife by Amy Tan
I hope you could help me. Thanks!
Thursday, July 7
tsk tsk
Last night I heard on the news that the Ateneans through the Sanggunian ng mga Mag-aaral finally made a stand regarding the Gloriagate scandal. If PGMA were really sincere in her apology, they said, then she should step down from her office. Hmm… I wonder if Father Nebres and the other higher-ups in Ateneo was informed about or approve of this move. And, of course, if the rest of the Ateneo populace actually share this view.
The Ateneo student council calling for PGMA’s resignation is a bit surprising. Ateneans are believed to be an apathetic lot. But they (or should I say we?) are trying very hard to change that image, so now and then you see Ateneans speaking up on the more serious national issues and joining UP in (a handful of) protests and rallies.
But then Sanggu was probably just following the rest of the universities in the city. UP has made their stand. So has La Salle and UST. It was, of course, imperative that Ateneo not only make a stand but make it known through the national media.
I agree that PGMA should step down from her office. But I believe that she do that not now, but when her term ends. But she cheated, the opposition would whine. But who didn’t? And that’s not the point. If she resigns, then what? Who would lead us? Noli de Castro, a broadcaster who read from a teleprompter? Susan Roces, touted to be the next Cory Aquino (Gahd, how could they dare to compare FPJ and Ninoy?)?
I mean, think about it. Our current executive chief might have stolen the presidency (not once but twice! raged Tita Susan), but there’s no one else but GMA. We have no other choice. Well, we do, but we’ll be jumping from the pan to the fire. If she steps down, the presidency would be up for grabs, and who knows what would happen then? Another EDSA revolution? A junta republic? A military take over? Rez Cortez for president? I’m telling you, the cure is worse than the disease. It may be stupid to just forgive and forget, but in the face of such forbidding and frightening possibilities, there’s nothing left to do. Let’s just hope that we’ll have a better luck next time.
The Ateneo student council calling for PGMA’s resignation is a bit surprising. Ateneans are believed to be an apathetic lot. But they (or should I say we?) are trying very hard to change that image, so now and then you see Ateneans speaking up on the more serious national issues and joining UP in (a handful of) protests and rallies.
But then Sanggu was probably just following the rest of the universities in the city. UP has made their stand. So has La Salle and UST. It was, of course, imperative that Ateneo not only make a stand but make it known through the national media.
I agree that PGMA should step down from her office. But I believe that she do that not now, but when her term ends. But she cheated, the opposition would whine. But who didn’t? And that’s not the point. If she resigns, then what? Who would lead us? Noli de Castro, a broadcaster who read from a teleprompter? Susan Roces, touted to be the next Cory Aquino (Gahd, how could they dare to compare FPJ and Ninoy?)?
I mean, think about it. Our current executive chief might have stolen the presidency (not once but twice! raged Tita Susan), but there’s no one else but GMA. We have no other choice. Well, we do, but we’ll be jumping from the pan to the fire. If she steps down, the presidency would be up for grabs, and who knows what would happen then? Another EDSA revolution? A junta republic? A military take over? Rez Cortez for president? I’m telling you, the cure is worse than the disease. It may be stupid to just forgive and forget, but in the face of such forbidding and frightening possibilities, there’s nothing left to do. Let’s just hope that we’ll have a better luck next time.
Wednesday, July 6
I’m not actually looking for a job. I already have one, but it’s not the regular nine-to-five. And it’s only for a couple of months. I’m supposed to write the operations manual for our family business (Rosa Foods, Inc. We're engaged mainly in the processing of meat. Care to try? You'll definitely love our products.). It’s not entirely a labor of love. I will get paid once I finish the damn thing. But the experience and the sense of fulfillment (from having accomplished something while bumming around) will definitely be valuable.
Of course, my pay will be small compared to the rest of the would-be-yuppies out there, but that’s okay. There are so many fringe benefits. I don’t have to dress up or go to an office every day. I can work whenever I please. I could even get a free ride when I need to attend a seminar in town. And the pay would be my starting money once I start looking for a real job in the big city.
Oh, the best bonus: my latest (and weirdest) crush is coming over in a couple of weeks to check on my progress. Coolness. I love this job! I only wish I would actually work on it and get something (more like a lot of things) done instead of updating my blog.
Of course, my pay will be small compared to the rest of the would-be-yuppies out there, but that’s okay. There are so many fringe benefits. I don’t have to dress up or go to an office every day. I can work whenever I please. I could even get a free ride when I need to attend a seminar in town. And the pay would be my starting money once I start looking for a real job in the big city.
Oh, the best bonus: my latest (and weirdest) crush is coming over in a couple of weeks to check on my progress. Coolness. I love this job! I only wish I would actually work on it and get something (more like a lot of things) done instead of updating my blog.
Tuesday, July 5
weirdness personified
It’s official. I have the weirdest (and craziest) taste in crushes. I know that everyone is entitled to have at least one dorky crush in her lifetime, but I think I have had more than my fair share already. Don’t tell me that I’m exaggerating and say that there are other people who have had a thing with the most unlikely (or unsightly) person. Take for example, Andie. She’s head over heels in love with Quentin Tarantino (who was in Alias, by the way. He’s one of the bad guys. Coolness. J) and Constantine (of American Idiot, er, Idol). But then this hideous obsession is matched with equal fervor by her mania (and lust) for Bruce Willis and Orlando Bloom. Besides, you have to admit that what Quentin lacks in looks he makes up with his genius. And Constantine, well, he is quite charming (but the rocker image is so passé. Sorry, Andie.).
In my case, however, it’s one dorky crush after the other. I think it started with Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing in Friends. Then Bubble Gang’s Michael V and Nuts Entertainment’s Mike “Pekto” Nacua caught my fancy. And lately I’ve been watching Sesame Street with my kid brother, waiting for Mr. Noodle to make his appearance. And I thought it couldn’t get any worse.
As I mentioned in my other entry, my latest crush has the same first name as my recent ex. I know her on a professional basis. She’s a consultant doing in-depth coaching with our family business and several other companies here in the province. We’ve met months ago but I only noticed her last week. I was in a seminar that she and her colleagues were facilitating when that crazy thought crept into my sleepy brain. Then I started daydreaming about applying and getting accepted in their organization, working with her, getting to know her, and then… At this point, I was snapped awake, shocked at my train of thoughts. Kinilabutan.
You would have expected that I banished that silly thought from my head. But no. I actually encouraged it. I notice that I was always keyed up during the remainder of the seminar, and I started to participate actively in the discussions, especially when she’s around(pasikat!). Before the seminar was over, she scheduled a meeting next week with us writers (more on that in another entry), and I’m soooo excited of seeing her again. It’s that, um, pseudo-serious.
But she’s way older than I am, 10 years, max. And her looks are quite ordinary. She’s not ugly, but she’s not very pretty either. I guess what attracted me to her was her voice. Not her singing voice, but her normal conversational (or facilitating-the-seminar) voice. I have this thing with a person’s voice, see. It’s a major turn on for me. (Don’t go thinking of anything dirty now.)
The sad thing is, she’s not even tibo. She’s boyish in the sense that she’s not as kikay or pa-demure like other girls. But that’s all. My guess is she’s heterosexual, but her work keeps her from having a meaningful relationship so no wedding ring yet. Go on, say it. Pau, you’re really weird.
Maybe this is just a phase I’m going through. Maybe I’m just bored because I haven’t seen anyone cute yet. Maybe I just got impressed; she knows what she’s doing, and she seems to like what she’s doing. I’m craving for security and stability now, so maybe I just got envious and wants to be like her.
But if so, why then did I put on nice clothes and wore lipstick when I knew that I’d see her? And why am grinning like an idiot inside every time she talks to me?
In my case, however, it’s one dorky crush after the other. I think it started with Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing in Friends. Then Bubble Gang’s Michael V and Nuts Entertainment’s Mike “Pekto” Nacua caught my fancy. And lately I’ve been watching Sesame Street with my kid brother, waiting for Mr. Noodle to make his appearance. And I thought it couldn’t get any worse.
As I mentioned in my other entry, my latest crush has the same first name as my recent ex. I know her on a professional basis. She’s a consultant doing in-depth coaching with our family business and several other companies here in the province. We’ve met months ago but I only noticed her last week. I was in a seminar that she and her colleagues were facilitating when that crazy thought crept into my sleepy brain. Then I started daydreaming about applying and getting accepted in their organization, working with her, getting to know her, and then… At this point, I was snapped awake, shocked at my train of thoughts. Kinilabutan.
You would have expected that I banished that silly thought from my head. But no. I actually encouraged it. I notice that I was always keyed up during the remainder of the seminar, and I started to participate actively in the discussions, especially when she’s around(pasikat!). Before the seminar was over, she scheduled a meeting next week with us writers (more on that in another entry), and I’m soooo excited of seeing her again. It’s that, um, pseudo-serious.
But she’s way older than I am, 10 years, max. And her looks are quite ordinary. She’s not ugly, but she’s not very pretty either. I guess what attracted me to her was her voice. Not her singing voice, but her normal conversational (or facilitating-the-seminar) voice. I have this thing with a person’s voice, see. It’s a major turn on for me. (Don’t go thinking of anything dirty now.)
The sad thing is, she’s not even tibo. She’s boyish in the sense that she’s not as kikay or pa-demure like other girls. But that’s all. My guess is she’s heterosexual, but her work keeps her from having a meaningful relationship so no wedding ring yet. Go on, say it. Pau, you’re really weird.
Maybe this is just a phase I’m going through. Maybe I’m just bored because I haven’t seen anyone cute yet. Maybe I just got impressed; she knows what she’s doing, and she seems to like what she’s doing. I’m craving for security and stability now, so maybe I just got envious and wants to be like her.
But if so, why then did I put on nice clothes and wore lipstick when I knew that I’d see her? And why am grinning like an idiot inside every time she talks to me?
Sunday, July 3
I was reading the newspaper this afternoon when I came across some interesting stuff. No, I skipped the front page because it’s too depressing, so don’t ask me about the Gloriagate scandal or the E-VAT.
What caught my eye was the line “Johnny Depp and Ralph Fiennes take on whimsical characters in their new films – as … Willy Wonka in ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” and as the diabolical Lord Voldemort in ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.’” Whoa. Ralph Fiennes? Johnny Depp I could understand. He is, after all, Edward Scissorhands and Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Carribean). I guess “whimsy” is his middle name. But Ralph Fiennes, as in the Ralph Fiennes of “End of the Affair” and “Schindler’s List,” as He Who Must Not Be Named? Kinda surprising for an actor with his caliber, no offense to J. K. Rowling and Daniel Radcliffe (and Emma Watson *sly grin*).
And then I saw some pictures with captions saying “so-and-so in Iganacio Loyola.” There’s a designer named Ignacio Loyola?! I pity the guy, assuming that it’s his real name. His parents are either very devout follower of St. Ignatius of Loyola or are staunch Ateneans to the core. Or both. They probably sang “Song for Mary” and “Blue Eagle Spelling” instead of lullabies and nursery rhymes.
Anyway… Hmm… What else? I was meaning to tell you about my latest (pathetic) crush but I’m not in the mood to write. Just a teaser: namesake of my recent ex (not him. her.) Such a crazy world. Rather, such a crazy Pau.
Hey, check out my new blog in blog-city. It doesn’t contain anything yet, but I’ve already chosen the theme and put the links to other blogs. Blog-city is cool because amateurs like me don’t need to buy “HTML for Dummies” when designing the webpage itself. I’m still debating on whether to move there for good or stay here until Lorie finds a host that offers both the user-friendliness of Blog-city and html option of Blogspot. What do you think? And what do you think of my new blog? Comments and suggestions? I’ll be waiting.
What caught my eye was the line “Johnny Depp and Ralph Fiennes take on whimsical characters in their new films – as … Willy Wonka in ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” and as the diabolical Lord Voldemort in ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.’” Whoa. Ralph Fiennes? Johnny Depp I could understand. He is, after all, Edward Scissorhands and Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Carribean). I guess “whimsy” is his middle name. But Ralph Fiennes, as in the Ralph Fiennes of “End of the Affair” and “Schindler’s List,” as He Who Must Not Be Named? Kinda surprising for an actor with his caliber, no offense to J. K. Rowling and Daniel Radcliffe (and Emma Watson *sly grin*).
And then I saw some pictures with captions saying “so-and-so in Iganacio Loyola.” There’s a designer named Ignacio Loyola?! I pity the guy, assuming that it’s his real name. His parents are either very devout follower of St. Ignatius of Loyola or are staunch Ateneans to the core. Or both. They probably sang “Song for Mary” and “Blue Eagle Spelling” instead of lullabies and nursery rhymes.
Anyway… Hmm… What else? I was meaning to tell you about my latest (pathetic) crush but I’m not in the mood to write. Just a teaser: namesake of my recent ex (not him. her.) Such a crazy world. Rather, such a crazy Pau.
Hey, check out my new blog in blog-city. It doesn’t contain anything yet, but I’ve already chosen the theme and put the links to other blogs. Blog-city is cool because amateurs like me don’t need to buy “HTML for Dummies” when designing the webpage itself. I’m still debating on whether to move there for good or stay here until Lorie finds a host that offers both the user-friendliness of Blog-city and html option of Blogspot. What do you think? And what do you think of my new blog? Comments and suggestions? I’ll be waiting.
Friday, July 1
continuation
No, you don’t understand. Or maybe you do and you don’t. We all struggle with their expectations. But you could never understand how it is to be my parents’ daughter. It’s not enough for them that I graduated from Ateneo on time. They would have preferred that I graduated with honors. Of course they don’t tell me this outright. They let me know when I least expect it, like when we’re entertaining guests and they start talking about my (rejected) application for graduate school at UP. When I tell the guests that graduate schools require work experience, my parents would say in a joking manner, “But sometimes they accept fresh graduates who have high grades.” And then add, “It’s okay, you have always wanted to work in a call center.” I hate it when they use humor in their criticisms. If I don’t laugh with them, I’ll end up looking pikon and they’ll just laugh at me harder.
And I know what they want from me (I think), and I know I can’t give them that. I try – God knows I do – but it’s too difficult to change at this point in my life. I hate it here. I can’t wait to see the day that I leave for Manila and hunt for a job. But then if I take eons to land a job, or if my job sucks, I’ll never hear the end of it from my parents. Actually, this jobhunting thing is also an issue with us. I could never understand what they want. Basta, it’s a long sordid story. I wish I could turn back time and be a kid again.
Oh, I take back what I said in that last entry. They do love me. After all, I am their own flesh and blood. But I do not have their respect. Maybe they do respect me as a human being, but not as a person. Do you see the difference? Never sila naging bilib sa akin. And that’s just sad, right?
*sigh* I’m sorry this blog has been so depressing. I promise I would post something upbeat next time.
And I know what they want from me (I think), and I know I can’t give them that. I try – God knows I do – but it’s too difficult to change at this point in my life. I hate it here. I can’t wait to see the day that I leave for Manila and hunt for a job. But then if I take eons to land a job, or if my job sucks, I’ll never hear the end of it from my parents. Actually, this jobhunting thing is also an issue with us. I could never understand what they want. Basta, it’s a long sordid story. I wish I could turn back time and be a kid again.
Oh, I take back what I said in that last entry. They do love me. After all, I am their own flesh and blood. But I do not have their respect. Maybe they do respect me as a human being, but not as a person. Do you see the difference? Never sila naging bilib sa akin. And that’s just sad, right?
*sigh* I’m sorry this blog has been so depressing. I promise I would post something upbeat next time.
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