weirdness personified

It’s official. I have the weirdest (and craziest) taste in crushes. I know that everyone is entitled to have at least one dorky crush in her lifetime, but I think I have had more than my fair share already. Don’t tell me that I’m exaggerating and say that there are other people who have had a thing with the most unlikely (or unsightly) person. Take for example, Andie. She’s head over heels in love with Quentin Tarantino (who was in Alias, by the way. He’s one of the bad guys. Coolness. J) and Constantine (of American Idiot, er, Idol). But then this hideous obsession is matched with equal fervor by her mania (and lust) for Bruce Willis and Orlando Bloom. Besides, you have to admit that what Quentin lacks in looks he makes up with his genius. And Constantine, well, he is quite charming (but the rocker image is so passé. Sorry, Andie.).

In my case, however, it’s one dorky crush after the other. I think it started with Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing in Friends. Then Bubble Gang’s Michael V and Nuts Entertainment’s Mike “Pekto” Nacua caught my fancy. And lately I’ve been watching Sesame Street with my kid brother, waiting for Mr. Noodle to make his appearance. And I thought it couldn’t get any worse.

As I mentioned in my other entry, my latest crush has the same first name as my recent ex. I know her on a professional basis. She’s a consultant doing in-depth coaching with our family business and several other companies here in the province. We’ve met months ago but I only noticed her last week. I was in a seminar that she and her colleagues were facilitating when that crazy thought crept into my sleepy brain. Then I started daydreaming about applying and getting accepted in their organization, working with her, getting to know her, and then… At this point, I was snapped awake, shocked at my train of thoughts. Kinilabutan.

You would have expected that I banished that silly thought from my head. But no. I actually encouraged it. I notice that I was always keyed up during the remainder of the seminar, and I started to participate actively in the discussions, especially when she’s around(pasikat!). Before the seminar was over, she scheduled a meeting next week with us writers (more on that in another entry), and I’m soooo excited of seeing her again. It’s that, um, pseudo-serious.

But she’s way older than I am, 10 years, max. And her looks are quite ordinary. She’s not ugly, but she’s not very pretty either. I guess what attracted me to her was her voice. Not her singing voice, but her normal conversational (or facilitating-the-seminar) voice. I have this thing with a person’s voice, see. It’s a major turn on for me. (Don’t go thinking of anything dirty now.)

The sad thing is, she’s not even tibo. She’s boyish in the sense that she’s not as kikay or pa-demure like other girls. But that’s all. My guess is she’s heterosexual, but her work keeps her from having a meaningful relationship so no wedding ring yet. Go on, say it. Pau, you’re really weird.

Maybe this is just a phase I’m going through. Maybe I’m just bored because I haven’t seen anyone cute yet. Maybe I just got impressed; she knows what she’s doing, and she seems to like what she’s doing. I’m craving for security and stability now, so maybe I just got envious and wants to be like her.

But if so, why then did I put on nice clothes and wore lipstick when I knew that I’d see her? And why am grinning like an idiot inside every time she talks to me?