"I FEEL NAKED!!!!"

take a wild guess who said that. hint: she was released from the hospital last week. :)

hormonal again

My hormones are raging again. My temper’s been flaring for the past few hours. I swear… “All worked up and no one to choke.” How apt.

I asked Nanay if she could suggest a doctor (or a psychologist) I could see for my unholy bouts of PMS (that’s premenstrual symptoms and not premarital sex, pervert). She looked at me doubtfully and told me I should just learn to control my temper, hormones be damned. Jeez. Why can’t she understand? Didn’t she go through the same thing in her younger years? Gahd, the joys of menopause.

PMS is already recognized in the medical field, right? I found an ad for a patch intended for easing PMS in a women’s magazine, circa 1990s. But I think I have less of the physical symptoms (extreme cramps, etc) and more of the emotional/psychological. There’s gotta be something in the market I could take or apply or whatever to stabilize my mood swings. I’m becoming more and more of an ogre as each month passes. No Logynon, please. That OC never fails to give me a pimple every month. As in one single huge zit on my T-zone. It’s so damn obvious.

Maybe I should learn yoga. Or kickboxing. Or buy truckloads of stress balls I could obliterate to oblivion whenever I feel like strangling everybody within five feet of me.

Hey, Andie. Here are more things you wouldnt know without movies:

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices that have large red readouts telling when they're going to go off.

During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once. (May I just add, if there's a female cop, it will be necessary for her to go undercover in a strip joint.)

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the langauge. A German accent will do.

When confronted by an evil international terrorist, saracasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

One man shooting 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at one man, if he is the hero. (This is another version :P)

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises while in their most revealing underwear.

(taken without permission from Reader's Digest, Feb 1999)

And while I'm at it...

If Microsoft had haiku for error messages:

Printer not ready
Could be a fatal error
Have a pen handy?


A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist were sitting in a cafe when they noticed two people going into the house across the street. A while later, they saw three people coming out.

Says the physicist, "Our first count wasn't accurate."
Argues the biologist, "They must have reproduced!"
Concludes the mathematician, "Now, if exactly one person enters the house, it will be empty again."

Goodness. I'm such a nerd. :P

*BOLD THE ONES YOU'VE DONE*

smoked a cigarette
smoked a cigar – it was gross
made out with a member of the same sex – we never went beyond kisses
crashed a friend's car
stolen a car
been in love
been dumped
shoplifted
been fired
been in a fist fight
snuck out of my parents' house
had feelings for someone who didn't have them back – so true!!!
been arrested
made out with a stranger – almost a stranger
gone on a blind date
lied to a friend – not blatant lies… fibs lang
had a crush on a teacher
been to Europe
skipped school
slept with a co-worker
seen someone die
had a crush on one of your LJ friends
been to Canada
been to Mexico
been on a plane
thrown up in a bar – haven’t thrown up after drinking yet
purposely set a part of myself on fire
eaten sushi
been snowboarding
met someone in person from LJ
been moshing at a concert
been in an abusive relationship
taken painkillers
love someone or miss someone right now
laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
made a snow angel
had a tea party
flown a kite
built a sand castle
gone puddle jumping
played dress up
jumped into a pile of leaves
gone sledding
cheated while playing a game
been lonely
fallen asleep at work/school
used a fake ID
watched the sunset – in Boracay!
felt an earthquake
touched a snake
slept beneath the stars – does camping out count?
been tickled
been robbed
been misunderstood
petted a reindeer/goat
won a contest
run a red light
been suspended from school
been in a car accident
had braces – still have ‘em!
felt like an outcast – pwede ba triple bold?!
eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
had deja vu
danced in the moonlight
hated the way you look
witnessed a crime
pole danced
questioned your heart
been obsessed with post-it notes
squished barefoot through the mud
been lost – literally or figuratively?
been to the opposite side of the country – I’ve been to Dagupan, Pangsinan and Cebu
swam in the ocean – will South China Sea count?
felt like dying
cried yourself to sleep
played cops and robbers
recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
sung karaoke – videoke during my immersion because we were drinking gin
paid for a meal with only coins
done something you told yourself you wouldn't
made prank phone calls – I’d call a number and hang up as soon as somebody picks up. Oh, and prank SMS
laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
caught a snowflake on your tongue
danced in the rain
written a letter to Santa Claus
been kissed under a mistletoe
watched the sun rise with someone you care about
blown bubbles
made a bonfire on the beach
crashed a party
gone rollerskating
had a wish come true - I just can't remember what, though
humped a monkey – eew, gross
worn pearls
jumped off a bridge
screamed penis in class – whatever for?
ate dog/cat food – yuck ha?
told a complete stranger you loved them – they seem like strangers now. Hah, bitter
kissed a mirror
sang in the shower
have a little black dress
had a dream that you married someone
glued your hand to something
got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
kissed a fish
worn the opposite sex's clothes – for school plays
been a cheerleader
sat on a roof top
screamed at the top of your lungs
done a one-handed cartwheel
talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
stayed up all night
didn't take a shower for a week
pick and ate an apple right off the tree
climbed a tree
had a tree house
are scared to watch scary movies – sort of
believe in ghosts – I used to
had more then 30 pairs of shoes – including baby shoes and shoes I had as a kid and shoes I bought but didn’t get to wear often
worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
gone streaking
played ding-dong-ditch
played chicken
been pushed into a pool with your clothes on
been told you're hot by a complete stranger
broken a bone
been easily amused
caught a fish then ate it
made porn
caught a butterfly
laughed so hard you cried
cried so hard you laughed
cheated on a test – oh yes. I was scared shitless thinking that the teacher caught me and would fail me. He gave me a measly C and I was already jumping for joy.
have a Britney Spears CD
forgotten someone's name
slept naked – I would take my afternoon siesta in my undies when I was still in the dorm
French braided someone's hair
gone skinny dippin in a pool
been threatened to be kicked out of your house
been kicked out your house - I'm not waiting for that moment :P

Guys, please pray for Lorie. She's having (or had) major operation on her back because of a herniated disc. The operation was earlier this morning (Wednesday, August 10, 2005). Thanks.

Lorie said she's okay now. She'll probably stay in the hospital for a week or so, watching TV all day long and staring at a certain cute (male) nurse. She won't flirt with him, though. She said she's too much of a torpe girl to do that. Oh well.

bits and pieces

I’ve always had this crazy wish to have a gay best bud. You know, like Penelope Cruz’s flamboyant drag queen best friend in Woman on Top, although maybe not that screaming a fag. I’m thinking more along the lines of Will in Will and Grace. But sadly, that’s not meant to be. Most of the guys I’m close to are straight (or gays who have no intention of coming out of their closets), and I’m actually scared shitless of gays. Chalk that up to a really terrifying experience with fags back in high school. The funny thing is, I do have a gay best bud now, although not the type I had in mind. Lesbians, after all, are considered gay, right?

***

Can somebody tell me what’s the deal with Catcher in the Rye? Why does everybody seem to be moved by this novel and I’m just weirded out? Holden and his story just didn’t “kill” me, if you get what I mean. I was so disappointed upon reaching the end of the book and immediately wished I bought something else. I just don’t get Salinger’s point. Is there some profound meaning I have yet to fathom, or did I just get a “pirated” copy (from National Bookstore?!)? I’m tempted to read it again, but I’m afraid I’ll just be wasting my time.

***

Speaking of books, can you guys recommend anything for me? I’m thinking of reading Isabel Allende’s Eva Luna, Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s Of Love and Other Demons (it’s about forbidden love. Perfect for me, don’t you think?), Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles (Vol. 2, and then move on to Mayfair Witches), Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart, Unbearable Lightness of Being, The Color Purple (ahem, Lorie :P), Five People You Meet in Heaven, and Sophie’s World.

And then there’s the lure of classics: Dante’s Divine Comedy, Doctor Zhivago, stuff by Charles Dickens and Shakespeare, etc. Whew. What a hodgepodge. Yep, I’m dedicating my entire life to reading books, books and more books. I wish.

I’m quoting this from Ate Pia (without her permission, may I just add): “You are [the] one I've dreamed of all my life, but that doesn't mean I would want you to be mine. You have been mine once but we both let go. We both moved on. We both called it quits. You don't seem to understand why I still feel the same for you and why I haven't totally let you go.”

Can relate and lola nyo. Ouch.

***

Btw, I’ve moved out. Out of my parents’ room (where I bunk in during sem break and vacation) and into my own room. My own uber pink room. As in baby pink. Pink and white shelves, pink and white closet. Gahd, I feel like a fuckin faggot coming out of my closet. I do hope I won’t get tired of pink easily. (I might upload some pictures in my multiply site.)

My aunts have been commenting that my room looks like a child’s and Nadya’s room like a grown up’s. Hers is done in peach and orange, and her closet is in dark mahogany. Nadya really wants to grow up na, while I don’t want to grow up at all.

***

Although I think my aunt is regretting her decision of giving me a new room. I’m a very bad housekeeper.

And I’m starting to regret it myself. All my books are in one place so I’m bound to get tempted to read them all. Actually, I am reading them all, that’s why I’m not getting any work done. Maybe I should ask my aunt to put a screen or cover on the shelves, so it would be difficlut to get a book but knowing myself, that’s gonna be pretty useless.

***

Anyway, we were moving my sister’s stuff into her new room, and some of my things were mixed up with hers. We found some old Sci-link issues (Does “Hello, God?” sound familiar, Andie?), my high school yearbook and graduation souvenir program, a copy of Inquirer with my Youngblood article in it (under a pseudonym, of course). I started skimming through them. Wish I didn’t because high school memories began to flood my brain. It’s not that they’re bad. They’re actually good memories, so I’d rather not remember them. I can’t help comparing those happy hs days to my not so happy college and post-college days. Makes me want to go back to my younger years, and we all know that’s impossible. *sigh*

mga walang magawa sa buhay

Nagpapacute na naman si Pau. And to think it wasn't my phone. tsk tsk.

kadyot lang, dili ako kasabot

It was my first time in Cebu last week. My mother had to attend a seminar and I “volunteered” to come along. Cebu’s a cool place. Parang may sariling mundo! And they have their own international airport. If it weren’t for the Cebuano-speaking populace, I would think I was in Metro Manila already (Oops, baka magalit mga Cebuanos! Do forgive me. Manila is the only city comparable to Cebu. ). Pero less polluted and with less traffic jams than MM. And what really tickled me pink was they have not one, but two Starbucks! One in Ayala and another in SM City. Although we didn’t get to visit any because my mother and I were too busy window shopping.

The seminar ended earlier than expected so we had more time to visit other places. We went to the Cebu Cathedral and Sto. Nino Basilica. We also bought tikoy in La Fortuna bakeshop (it's located inside the gates of Sto. Nino Basilica, if you want to go there) and saw the Magellan’s Cross. The cross wasn’t so impressive and the surroundings were already dirty. Maybe they should try to develop it as a tourist destination or something.

We also went to the Taoist Temple and the Waterfront Hotel in Lahug. The temple was in a subdivision perched on a hill, so we had to climb very high stairs. And the hotel was so large and luxurious. I was about to say classy, but we did see some not-so-classy Pinays on the arms of foreigners. Oh well. You win some, you lose some. We also ate dinner at Golden Cowrie (also in Lahug) and I really recommend the place. They serve delicious food (especially the baked scallops and puso salad) at reasonable prices. And they have unlimited rice, too.

They have this Taoist stone thingamajigger in the temple, and I really wanted to try it. You know, two kidney-shaped stones you drop on the floor after asking the gods a question. They’re supposed to indicate yes, no or maybe. I have questions I’m burning to ask, but I’m too scared because I might not like the answer. Or maybe it would just give me false hopes. *sigh* But let’s not dwell on that.

Anyway, the place where we were staying reminded me so much of Quiapo and the University Belt. There were lots of churches and schools, and lots more people. The guard at our hotel told us that the area used to be very dangerous and crime rate was high. Ngayon, hinda na “very,” dangerous na lang.

But the hotel sucked. I wouldn’t recommend it. The water was weird and there were creepy crawlies in our room. The aircon in our rooms and the functions rooms seemed to be working fine, but it was so warm and stinky in the corridors. They really have a problem with cleanliness. It’s not exactly a dump, but it could be better. So if you’re visiting Cebu, don’t stay in Cebu Business Hotel in that hotel in Colon St. cor Junquera St.

We had lunch with Paolo and two of his friends. Thanks, Pao, for not blowing us off even if your boss told you to take somebody else to lunch. And thanks, Pao’s boss, for giving Pao extra money so he could treat us to lunch. :-)

By the way, Cebu is a PGMA country. Streamers saying “We support you, President Arroyo” were hung all over the city. Coolness. So if ever something bad happens, Gloria supporters could always go to Cebu and break away from the rest of the country. I’m just kidding, of course.

I just remembered what the chatty taxi driver told us. All that hullabaloo about jueteng and the Gloriagate scandal were brought about by FPJ’s “advisers” and cohorts. Sotto, et al were just upset because a woman (and a short one at that) beat them at their game of cheating. Makes sense, huh?