Hey, Andie. Here are more things you wouldnt know without movies:

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices that have large red readouts telling when they're going to go off.

During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once. (May I just add, if there's a female cop, it will be necessary for her to go undercover in a strip joint.)

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the langauge. A German accent will do.

When confronted by an evil international terrorist, saracasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

One man shooting 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at one man, if he is the hero. (This is another version :P)

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises while in their most revealing underwear.

(taken without permission from Reader's Digest, Feb 1999)

And while I'm at it...

If Microsoft had haiku for error messages:

Printer not ready
Could be a fatal error
Have a pen handy?


A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist were sitting in a cafe when they noticed two people going into the house across the street. A while later, they saw three people coming out.

Says the physicist, "Our first count wasn't accurate."
Argues the biologist, "They must have reproduced!"
Concludes the mathematician, "Now, if exactly one person enters the house, it will be empty again."

Goodness. I'm such a nerd. :P