never good enough

When will I ever be good enough for you? I’m tired of trying and failing miserably to become the perfect daughter. Time and again you’ve told me to learn to accept things that I cannot change, but why can’t you accept me? You expect too much from me. I can’t be perfect. I feel like I’m living in a military camp where I’m severely punished for every tiny mistake I make.

I’m also starting to feel unloved, too. You sympathize with our household help, saying she’s unappreciated, na palagi na lang mali ang nakikita, na palaging pinapagalitan, na she’s overworked and stuff. Ako rin naman ah (except for the overworked part). You never notice the times that I ran an errand for you, or did something right. Praise me you never did. But when I mess up, boy oh boy, you’re a few steps behind, ready to attack me. Criticisms, that’s all I hear from you. And don’t go telling me that they’re meant to be constructive. On the contrary, your words kill me. You think I never listen to you, but every withering analysis of my flaws crushes my ego and skewers my heart. I will be forever traumatized.