Dear Starbucks Gay Guy,

Ohmigosh, you’re gay. I knew it. You were just too good to be true anyway. You are another proof to my “motto:” all the good men are either taken or gay (or both. Ouch!). On second thought, I don’t even know you that well, so why am I already assuming that you belong to the “good men” category? But you’re so gwapo and that’s good enough for me. I swear, you have the most amazing profile I ever saw. It was love at first sight. Well, only on my part since I was the only one looking at you. You were too engrossed with your book (hardbound international edition no less) to notice me staring at you longingly from the other side of the glass partition in Starbucks.

Why are you gay? It’s not as if there’s not enough women in the girls. With your looks, you could have more than your fair share of girls.

But then again, are you really gay? My friends tell me that they saw you holding hands with a girl. But I did see you making those gay movements with your hands, and did hear you say “you go, girl!” to one of your friends. What the hell was that? Straight guys absolutely do not use “girl” to address girls. My friends also tell me that I’m just jealous of that girl you held hands with so I’m insisting that you’re gay. But, hel-lo! I’d rather you be straight with a girlfriend than available but gay. ‘Di ba? ‘Di ba?

So ano ka ba talaga? It’s a mystery I’m too scared to solve. Maybe I should just ask you, but that would be a lose-lose situation. If you say yes, my world would be completely shattered. But if your answer is no, then you would really be offended that I even thought you gay. So where does that leave me? In a limbo. In gray areas. Or should I say in gay areas? *sigh*

Oh well. That’s life. I just hope that you’re happy with whatever sexual orientation you have.

Lovingly yours,
Starbucks Gay Girl

[Who’s Starbucks Gay Guy? He’s this guy I often see in Starbucks Katipunan (Duh. Isn’t it obvious?). He’s from UP, and I do know his name, but for my dignity’s sake, I won’t mention it here. He was crush for almost a week (as in I always go to Starbucks every night even if I don’t need to study or anything) until I saw him making those gay movements I mentioned earlier. After that, I happened to eavesdrop into one of his conversations with his friends and the way he talks is undeniably gay. He’s still my crush though, but no, it’s not because two homos having a relationship could be considered normal. Gahd, that’s so gross. Anyway, it’s because he’s an eye candy despite his being gay. He’s still nice to look at, especially when he’s studying or contemplating about whatever while smoking. I just don’t look at him while he’s talking with his friends. That’s when he transforms from a charming cutie into a *sob!* gay cutie. Gosh, I wonder what would happen if he reads my blog. Nah. Asa pa ko, ‘di ba? But if by some weird coincidence he chances across this, I hope he answers my question so my mind would be put to rest.]